Home Bangalore As old as your song request

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    Illustration : Tapas Ranjan

    I got a call from a 9 year-old girl the other day and she asked me to play We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift. I thought okay, harmless enough, and then she dropped this bomb on me. She said, “I want to dedicate it to this boy I used to know. I want him to know that he ‘sucks’ and I will never forgive him for cheating on me.” Wait, WHAT? 9 year-olds cheat on each other too? Even more ‘old lady’ of me, 9 year-olds date?

    It was this same week that I read a story about Britain’s youngest parents. A 12 year-old girl and a 13 year-old boy. I’m sorry for sounding so regressive but if you’re that young, you really shouldn’t be doing the horizontal boogie!

    They say they love each other. I loved Justin Timberlake at that age. But love at 12 years old is not the kind    of love that can bring a baby into this world and keep him or her happy, is it? What really threw me offguard though is that the girl’s dad says he’d rather have his daughter pregnant than on drugs.

    Little girls around the world need to know that they are powerful, they have the power to bring lives into this world. Having said that, you need to develop completely before you can even think of parenting. Bad idea. I’m in my late 20s and I still can’t think of nursing a little pumpkin.

    There is so much to see, live, love, feel, experience. Kids, don’t grow up too fast. Do whatever you can to preserve your youth, minus the botox aunties, because once you’re nearing 30, you’re going to wish you ate those carrot sticks instead of those Cheetos for all those years.

    As far as that little girl who called me and said she was cheated on goes, you’ve experienced what half the population of the world has probably experienced. But you experienced it too soon. Slow down girl! Taylor Swift was in her 20s when she wrote that song. How about giving yourself a few more years to understand what cheating really means? In the mean time, stay in school, don’t cheat on exams, or boys.

    Did I really just say that? Man, I must be old. Or just grown up. When did that happen? The only saving grace in this entire conversation with this little girl was that she said she loved music by Linkin Park, One Republic, Lily Allen and Shakira. I share the same music tastes of a 9 year-old girl! SCORE! I just hope good taste in music will also translate into good decision-making skills over time. Good luck with life you barely 10 year-old cutie, in all of us.

    —got a call from a 9 year-old girl the other day and she asked me to play We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift. I thought okay, harmless enough, and then she dropped this bomb on me. She said, “I want to dedicate it to this boy I used to know. I want him to know that he ‘sucks’ and I will never forgive him for cheating on me.” Wait, WHAT? 9 year-olds cheat on each other too? Even more ‘old lady’ of me, 9 year-olds date?
    It was this same week that I read a story about Britain’s youngest parents. A 12 year-old girl and a 13 year-old boy. I’m sorry for sounding so regressive but if you’re that young, you really shouldn’t be doing the horizontal boogie!
    They say they love each other. I loved Justin Timberlake at that age. But love at 12 years old is not the kind    of love that can bring a baby into this world and keep him or her happy, is it? What really threw me offguard though is that the girl’s dad says he’d rather have his daughter pregnant than              on drugs.
    Little girls around the world need to know that they are powerful, they have the power to bring lives into this world. Having said that, you need to develop completely before you can even think of parenting. Bad idea. I’m in my late 20s and I still can’t think of nursing a little pumpkin.
    There is so much to see, live, love, feel, experience. Kids, don’t grow up too fast. Do whatever you can to preserve your youth, minus the botox aunties, because once you’re nearing 30, you’re going to wish you ate those carrot sticks instead of those Cheetos for all those years.
    As far as that little girl who called me and said she was cheated on goes, you’ve experienced what half the population of the world has probably experienced. But you experienced it too soon. Slow down girl! Taylor Swift was in her 20s when she wrote that song. How about giving yourself a few more years to understand what cheating really means? In the mean time, stay in school, don’t cheat on exams, or boys.
    Did I really just say that? Man, I must be old. Or just grown up. When did that happen? The only saving grace in this entire conversation with this little girl was that she said she loved music by Linkin Park, One Republic, Lily Allen and Shakira. I share the same music tastes of a 9 year-old girl! SCORE! I just hope good taste in music will also translate into good decision-making skills over time. Good luck with life you barely 10 year-old cutie, in all of us.

    — Shagufta Ahmed
    Shagufta is an RJ and creative executive at Radio Indigo. The writer’s views expressed here are in her personal capacity.

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