Home Chennai ‘Broacha’ing the Budget

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    Veteran comedian, Cyrus Broacha, on the Union budget, Women’s Day and his upcoming standup showPrenatal yoga

    For a self-proclaimed ‘out of work’ actor, this 44-year-old funnyman has his hands full. Now that his uber-popular, decade-old news satire show on CNN-IBN, The Week That Wasn’t, is moving to a new daily format (by the end of March), Cyrus Broacha only finds time to do standup shows during the weekend. Besides that, The Other Week That Wasn’t on Comedy Central—which revolves around the entertainment industry— and his online podcast Cyrus Says (on which he speaks to inspirational people who are bucking trends and blazing trails) are currently garnering a lot of attention. We catch up with him, prior to his solo show in the city, to help us deconstruct the 2016 Union Budget.

    The budget for eight-year-olds: Here’s my erudite vision on budget 2016. As explained to me by my six-month-old puppy, Mary. The bad news is cigarettes and tobacco have gone up. This doesn’t hurt Mary or me—she doesn’t smoke and I’m unable to inhale, as I live in Mumbai, where as you know tobacco is a less harmful option to the normal pollution.

    Healthcare: Sterilised dialysers have become cheaper. Both Mary and I said ‘yipee’ even though we have absolutely no clue as to what a dialyser is.

    Household appliances: Refrigerator containers are cheaper. Now that is something to celebrate, even though the refrigerator itself is probably more expensive than ever. But you can afford the container. That’s like having a video, but no TV. Ah, the good old days.

    Entertainment: And yes, folk artists are now cheaper. Poor rustic folk artists, who were anyway paid very little, will get even less in future. So for Mary’s next birthday party, I have to decide between Hari Prasad Chuarasia and the Klassical Kottayam Hindustani Collective.

    F&B: Of course, eating out and flying have become more expensive. So, my chances of flying to Kochi for some fish chilly fry have become very low, unless I travel by sea in a refrigerator container, while hanging on to a sterilised dialyser. An image, which given my frame is very apt.
    So all in all Mary’s given a thumbs up (please don’t tell me canines don’t have thumbs). And if you are not happy with our budget, remember Bangladesh’s budget is worse.
    On March 5 at Phoenix MarketCity, from 7.30 pm. Details: 30083007

    Standup in the city
    A larger family audience means I may throw all the ‘adult content’ out the window, but still keep it fun by turning the show highly interactive and impromptu—by talking about concepts like my family, sports, Parsi culture and, of course, Arnab Goswami.
    On Women’s Day
    I remember Women’s Day like it was yesterday. Partly because my domineering spouse makes me realise its Women’s Day, every day, all week including Sundays. However, I’m the paradox in terms. India is so male dominated and chauvinistic a society, that I’m a drop in the ocean. Albeit a drop that is constantly gaining weight. But let me warn the male chauvinists of Hindustan about what’s coming soon. The next generation of women are going to rise up and makes us pay. They will catch us by our short and curlys, and throw us aside. They may well obliterate us as a species. I base my information on watching Mayawati and Smriti Irani trade verbal blows in Parliament last week. Such sound and fury that had the male MPs quaking in their desi sandals. So friends, men, chauvinists, you better celebrate Women’s Day with vigour and sincerity. Our best chance of surviving the female blitzkrieg that is coming depends on this. In any case, mankind has clearly failed. We need to switch therefore to the alternative. Womankind!

    —Anoop Menon

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