“Hyderabad sucks.” “There are no good pubs in Kolkata.” “Goa is the place to be.” The same guy comes back from the trip and says, “Goa was weird this time.”
Any of these complaints sound familiar? We all have that one friend, who no matter which city he or she is currently in, will have nothing good to say about the place. I hate it when people whine about a place. I used to do it. I mean, I’m sure I still do it once in a while. But I would like it to stop. Ever heard the term, “Did the people make the place, or did the place make the people?” Even in a place like Hyderabad for example, I do know a bunch of people who crib about the city.
They say, “The traffic is bad, the guys aren’t cute, the girls only hang out in groups, you can’t chat with them in a bar.” Oh I’m sorry, Brad Pitt. Were you the Wolf of Wall street at all those pubs in Delhi and Mumbai? Please get real. People blame location because it’s easier than blaming themselves.
If you’re one amongst Hyderabad’s one crore population, you’re in a city bigger than Chicago. You are surrounded by techies, artists, entrepreneurs and musicians. All smart men and women. You have gyms, eateries, clubs, bars, malls, theatres. Whatever. Anybody who is available in those bigger, better cities you seem to yearn for, they’re also right next to you as you crib eloquently in Starbucks.
I know it’s hard to make friends and harder when it is a new city. But step one might just be admitting, it’s not the location. Where you live might matter for real estate, but unless you’re in North Korea I don’t think it affects your chances of improving your social happiness. Even if you make it to New York and have all that money to blow, a magical brand new life is not going to just fall from the sky. You’ll find something else to crib about.
If you had a more enjoyable experience in another city in the past, also try and remember why you did. You probably had some college friends who lived there. Perhaps a family there as a safe base to have lunch with on Sundays?
Perhaps a family there as a safe base to have lunch with on Sundays?
Life has a funny way of going in cycles, and chances are you will continue to evolve and meet newer people, and form even deeper connections. Don’t complain about the city. Improve the person living in it.
(Sanjay is a stand-up comedian
who performs all over India. When not performing, he is an IT geek who makes funny videos )